The one with Endings

Sometime about a month ago my last guinea baby decided it was time to join her Uncle Pappy, Sister Obi, and Brother Micki in the Tapley pet cemetery. I’m only now getting around to writing her tribute because, to be quite frank, I do not like endings. *Sidebar- I don’t like television finales, I don’t like when people move away, I don’t like saying goodnight to a memorable evening, and I don’t like reading the last page of a good book. I always want more. * I especially do not like the fact that the era of guinea babies has come to an end.

Darbi was a super cuddly pig and from the first moment I first saw her and her beady red eyes and white fur. I knew our time together would be special. She was named after my own grandmother and she lived up to that regard. The night she died she awoke me with the sound of her foot scratching against the bottom of her plastic cage. I jumped out of bed thinking that she found the strength to revive herself, but alas she was asking for company so as to not be alone during her send off. Mom, Dad, and I joined her just as she heaved her last breath- much the same as her namesake.

Despite the number of days since her death, I still find myself listening for her squeals when I walk into her room and I still want to give her scraps of veggies while preparing dinner. It’s a strange feeling to be guinea free.

I must remember two things:

1- Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.

2- After a hurricane comes a rainbow.

The one with Weekends

Much fun was had this weekend.

 

A (more than) slightly off Broadway production of Sweeny Todd- Demon Barber of Fleet Street. Mom, Dad, Joyce, and Mike made the evening in Excelsior Springs rather memorable.

 

My precious goddaughter turned three and we had quite the celebration!

 

Walking Tacos- crunched up snack sized bag of Doritos, taco meat, cheese, lettuce, and other taco fixins- are consumed with a fork straight from the bag. One tent, no windows, one bucket with a trash bag and toilet seat, and a soggy roll of toilet paper. The walking taco was much more enjoyable than the peepee tent, however, both made for an awesome day at Arrowhead. The Chiefs win helped a little, too.

 

I love and live for weekends!

The One With Creepy Negativity

Sometime last year I came to recognize that happiness is a choice. Today, with the help of Cornell Dillard of the Missouri Department of Labor, I learned that negativity is also a choice. Negativity is a chosen emotional response to change.

Today was Oktoberfest for the entire Rainbow Options/Rainbow Center crew. There was German food, a root beer garden, and a guest speaker. Although the daily grind of work at Rainbow can be, at times, tedious, the days of getting everyone together are very welcomed. It is a nice to see the faces of those not seen every day, refreshing to hear roars and snorts of laughter, and insightful to gain knowledge of how to work better as a team.

Through a very animated and interactive presentation Cornell explained that negativity has a multitude of identifying personalities and that it is generally creepy to be negative. A story to explain- if you smile at a baby then the baby will smile back. If you frown at a baby the baby will cry and the baby’s mama will ask, “Why yo bein’ creepy with ma baby?” Being negative, creepy, has consequences.

My past work experience taught me a very specific technique in being positive. I need to do more than just remind myself of those techniques and take it a step further by utilizing them, at work and elsewhere. 

The One With That Old Familiar Road

There is nothing quite like death and late night drives with my best friend to sync my head and my heart.

For as long as I have been able to force a key into an inginition I have taken secret drives to my late Aunt Judy's earthly home, often with my best friend. It's a little jaunt through some twisty turns to get there and when making that journey at night, which I only ever do, fog is a near guarantee. 

When I turn my brights on and strain my eyes to see through that fog, I cannot help but to look back at some very memorable events with and involving my Aunt Judy. The most vivid memories are the extravagant 4th of July parties and the somber night she died.  These precious memories burst with laughter, love, and comfort that can only come through the knowledge that family is forever. 

September first was the 13th anniversary of the day she went Home. This thought must have been more present in my subconscious than I realized. After spending a sweet weekend night with family and friends, my best friend and I had a hankering to roll the windows down and just drive- like we used to.

 We wanted to sing loudly into the blackened sky, escape for a bit as if night was forever, and feel as innocent as the kids we once were. Without much thought, I merged onto the highway and almost immediately began the journey down that old familiar road. 

Realizing that I remembered the way, after so many years with no secret trips, created in me a sense of closeness- closeness to my Aunt, closeness to God, and a closeness between my head and my heart. 

My journey through the fog, both literally and metaphorically, has led me to a place where my head and my heart make sense together. 

Thanks be to God. And a special thanks to my Aunt Judy for saying HI to me on the radio this morning- I will remember you. 

The one with the Extravagant Life

We all live such elaborate lives with wild ambitions in our sights. My wild ambitions have, for as long as I can remember, been to live in a location far from the mid-west or to own my own business. That list goes on- such wild ambitions I create for my life.

We all live in extravagant times. Yes, yes, we do. Technology makes my days seem even more extravagant. But then again, what is the measure of extravagance?

To me, extravagance in life is being blessed enough to recognize my blessings. My blessings consist largely of the people I choose to share my days with. Everyone believes they have the best friends and I am no different.

I have, for quite some time now, been in deliberation with myself as to whether or not to chase one of my wild ambitions and move away or to recognize my blessings here. Each hug from my god daughter, each beer with my cousins, each game of Bananagram with my friends, each cup of coffee with my aunts, each downtown antiquing trip with my parents, each late night conversation, each laugh, each movie night, each dinner party- makes it harder for me to considering moving my life from this place.

Maybe it was some elaborate twist of fate that brought me back to this place- home. Whatever the case, I find that I am feeling more at ease with the thought of sticking around. Spending some of December in France may change this thought, however, that is still a few months away. For now, I’m settling down and making this place my home because I know I’m not alone.

“We all lead such elaborate lives

wild ambitions in our sights

How an affair of the heart survives

days apart and hurried nights

Seems quite unbelievable to me

I don't want to live like that

seems quite unbelievable to me

I don't want to love like that

I just want our time to be

slower and gentler, wiser, free

We all live in extravagant times

playing games we can't all win

Unintened emotional crimes

Take some out, take others in

We all lead such elaborate lives

We don't know whose words are true

Strangers, lovers, husbands, wives

Hard to know who's loving who “

…

- Aida

The one with Por Favor Mary Jane

The past few days have been the typical length of a weekend. They have, however, felt longer. Longer in a good, good way. The best way to spend a long weekend is finding the perfect balance between scratching through to-do lists, having fun, and lounging. This has been one such weekend. It has been all about prepping for the coming Holiday, which happens to be one of my favorites, along with the aforementioned activities.

I, along with the help of my family, have worked very intensely on a 1,000-piece puzzle, which I first started last month with my best friend. It is, I’m happy to announce, over half way finished. This weekend has also consisted of unforeseen winnings while playing the game Farkle, watching Spiderman in Spanish, washing the cars, reading, haircuts, caring for the canine's broken toenail, and a lot of shopping.

It feels great to have accomplished so much this weekend and still have had more than ample time for fun and laughter.

I love weekends!

The one with the Thoughtless Thought

Fortunately, going on walks has become a regular part of my routine, especially after library yoga. My thoughts tend to wonder while I walk. I think of sad things, I think of what life will be like when I’m living my dreams, I think of life outside of my body. Most often, however, my thoughts are actually quite thoughtless. Mmhmm, right- thoughtless thoughts- I said it.

My post yoga walk thought tonight was this- selfish is kind of a hard word to say. When said incorrectly is sounds a lot like shellfish. After thinking about it long enough and saying the words in my brain over and over I have come to a conclusion- they are actually the same word. And that’s my thoughtless thought.

Here’s a little something more thoughtful- I feel it extremely gratifying to have so many positive people in my life who constantly influence and encourage me.  It is a remarkable feeling to know that the people around me are capable of making me believe that my dreams have the possibility of coming true. My friends and family are pretty really cool.

Namaste. 

The one with The Pasture

What place seemed much smaller after coming back to visit again?

After repeatedly coming back to this Plinky prompt, I eventually found my answer- The Pasture, the field next to the house my grandparents inhabited when I was a kid. 

When I was a kid the patch of land next to my grandparents’ house seemed large and mysterious. I remember my grandpa picking me up and plopping me down on his tractor. We would go riding across The Pasture together. I remember those rides lasting for so long that in my memory The Pasture is miles wide. In fact, however, when driving past the old house after my grandparents had moved away and after I had aged a bit, it became clear that The Pasture was really just a small estate with no house on it. It was not an exotic field with tall grass and scary creatures; it was actually just a patch of land with overgrown weeds located between two houses. 

Although I know the true width of The Pasture, it is the depths of the memories that it procures that make me smile.

The one with one year ago today

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." - Winston Churchill

How do you measure a year? In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights. In cups of coffee, in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife. Thanks RENT, I could not have said it better myself. When I think about how I have been back home for a year now I cannot help but feel weird about the length of 12 months. One year, twelve months, 365 days. All those forms of measurement equal the same amount of time, yet they all carry a different feel. In certain ways it seems like only a mere few weeks ago that I packed my bags, my car, and a moving truck and had my own personal homecoming. In other ways that April day last year seems so long ago that it is almost as if it never happened. Goes to say, a lot can happen in 12 months time. An exponential amount of growth can happen, an extreme amount of closure can reveal itself, and a whole lot of love can be felt.

This blog’s purpose is to thank those who I simply would not have made it through this year without. I know it’s not much, but it’s the best I can do- maybe thanking you in a blog isn’t the BEST I can do, but I did want it to be in writing. There are so many people I love and want to thank, but this list is for those that consistently showed their love and support.

MY PARENTS:
Words simply cannot contain my gratitude for all that you do for me, mean to me, and for all the ways that you love me. You packed my things when I could not because it made me physically ill, you advised me to listen to my own advice, you cooked for me, you cleaned for me, you welcomed me back home. You wiped my eyes and rubbed my head. You took me to the airport and cared for my animals many times so I could partake in unforgettable adventures. You respected my space and continue to cheer me on. I love you both to the moon and back…

STEPHANIE:
Thanks for sharing late night cheesecake with me while I talked through my struggles. Thanks for dreaming with me and making some of those realities. I’m glad Lizzie Jo and Briony had the chance to become friends. Without you my life would be so less adventuresome. I know you don’t think you did anything special and that you were just being a friend and doing what friends do, however, this last year would have been drastically different without your friendship. You are a wonderful woman.

BROOK & Jake:
Thank you for listening when I would call in the middle of the night just to weep- sometimes for long periods of time. Thanks for allowing me a place to sleep when I had not a clue where to call home and for such a great birthday surprise. I am also thankful for all the new words we made up this year. Making up words seems to be a thing of ours. Thanks Jake for a lot of awkward laughs and for being so great at sharing your wife with me.

JESSICA & Darryl:
Thank you for having a sixth sense about knowing when I needed an encouraging word. Thanks for having a special way of making me feel loved and reminding me to eat.

JULIE & Lee:
Your love and support have been felt with the donations for garage sales, lunch dates, questions, and laughs.

JOYCE & MIKE:
Thanks for offering me a place to sleep when my parent’s house started feeling too small, for listening and asking provoking questions that made me reach inside myself and find an answer, and for simply loving me.

EMILY & Mark:
Thank you for being honest and sharing about your own experience to help me with mine. I not only knew your love, but felt it when you offered me a visit to see you. The timing was perfect and the visit was lovely. I am ecstatic to plan another soon.

JUSTIN & KATIE:
Thank you for not only telling me I am loved, but for showing me that I am loved. I enjoy our dinner/desserts nights immensely and our chats always cheer me up, even if I am already happy.  By helping me to remember good things from the past it is easier to look forward to the things yet to come. Thanks also for letting me love on Addie when I can and for introducing me to honey whiskey.

LANA & Justin:
Thank you for returning to my life- I had not realized how dearly I missed you. Thanks for reaffirming many a decision made in the last few months, countless game nights, free admission to sporting events, and for keeping it real. A special thanks to Justin, for teaching me how to drink honey whiskey on the rocks.

AMANDA & James:
Thank you for giving me multiple opportunities to yap early into the morning and for giving opinions and advice when warranted. Thanks for accompanying me on the trip of a lifetime and for the friendship shared with Lizzie Jo. Thanks James for sharing your wife so often and for being supportive of her and her wishes.

KARA & Aaron:
Having you around during my final days in Springfield was incredibly comforting. Thanks for listening, offering a place to rest my head, and for inspiring me to make the choice to be happy. Thanks also for introducing the Wigdahl family to my life.

ROBIN & Matt:
So many thanks to the beloved Wigdahl family for being real and trekking through life’s struggles alongside me and mine. Life is meant to be shared and I am beyond blessed to be sharing it with y’all. A special place in my heart will forever hold our times together.

GEMMA & DANNY:
I am thankful for the many trips to Kansas City, Liberty, and Lawrence I have allowed myself to take over the last year. I am happy to have y’all as regulars in my life.

Narnian Roommates:
Your love and encouragement was astounding and I will always consider that something very special.

Patty:
The appointments I had with my counselor when I first came home have proven to be unfathomably beneficial. She needn’t be mentioned at the bottom of my list, but someone has to be at the end. What better way to end the list than to thank someone who was there so close to the beginning?

This list could go on, and although I wish to exclude no one, it must end somewhere. I pray to never take friendship or family for granted and wish for you all to know how glad I am to have such wonderful people to share life with- even those not specifically listed.

The one with the Heart of Life

Forget being the lucky one that Nicholas Sparks wrote about; I am lucky enough to have the circle of people in my life that I do.  The people in my life defend my silver lining and even go so far as to make surprise visits to celebrate with me.

Over the past weekend my best-friend-college-roommate drove hours upon hours, without my knowledge, just to celebrate birthdays and life with me. Mom and Dad did swell work at not letting the cat out of the bag.  I was completely frightened and feeling like a lunatic when I saw someone jumping at the window and knocking wildly.

Having just been lazing on the couch and then to be suddenly running on adrenaline, shock, and of course surprise, I foggily arose off the couch to greet my hyped up friend.  Hugs and laughter ensued. The visit was so fun. It did, however, end much too quickly.

I am constantly surprised at how often I am convinced that the Heart of Life is good. 

The one with Pitter Patter Pit

I like to hear the rain come down.

I like to hear it hit the ground.

Pitter Patter, Pitter Patter,

Pitter Patter, Pit.

(The words may be incorrect, but in my head that’s how I hear her singing them.)

My Grandma Cook may have been nuttier than a jar of extra crunchy peanut butter, but I loved her for many reasons. She was musically talented, knew how to exercise humorously, made the best mashed potatoes, loved her husband unconditionally, took care of her family, and really knew how to pull loose teeth from her grandchildren’s heads. She was devoted to the things she cared about all the way to her 81^st birthday, the day she went to her home in the Sky, and that’s definitely commendable.

Speaking of birthdays- today would have been Grandma Cook’s 89^th birthday. I spent the day remembering her and the joy I experienced caring for her. I am blessed to have shared so many moments with my grandma while she was healthy, any maybe even more blessed by the moments we spent together in the end.

Some of the most significant experiences in my life so far are the times I took Arby’s roast beef sandwiches to my grandma when we were all too worn out to cook dinner, turning on her oxygen machine, sleeping next to her at night when she was lonely for my grandpa after he died, and holding her hand as she joined him when it was her turn.

Even though I miss my grandma a lot, I can find a lot of her in my mom. She’s definitely still around; in genes and memories. Happy day, Granny Grunt. I love you and I pray to always hear the sound of your music.

Ps. Happy birthday, yesterday, to Dharma. It’s a special time for birthdays.

The one with the 25th Birthday

This year’s birthday blew last year’s out of the water.

Dad won tickets to Oscar Wilde’s “The Importance of Being Ernest” and we decided to use them last night. The play was incredible and so fun. I am really glad I chose to read the play this week before seeing the production.

I awoke earlier than planned this morning when some Springfieldian friends called to say “Happy day”. From there I moved to the couch where I snuggled with Dharma and napped on and off whilst watching Lady and the Tramp. Dharma showed great concern for Lady whenever she howled because she did not want to be alone. It was rather sweet.

Eventually, I got my lazy bottom off the couch and walked up the stairs where I saw my first glimpse of sunshine for the day. I ran a frothy bubble bath and relaxed as Celine serenaded me. By the time I finished getting ready for the day Mom was home and ready to party. After running a couple of errands we ventured to Lee’s Summit where our massage therapist awaited.

Three hours later Mom and I were greasy and relaxed. We hopped in the car and drove home where we hastily put ourselves together for dinner. In between leaving for dinner and arriving at dinner, I got a fun phone call from my precious goddaughter. She sang happy birthday to me!

After not having really eaten anything all day but cookie cake, I arrived at Tosso’s quite hungry and expecting the party to have already started, however, there were few occupied seats and no plates being tossed about. My parents, one my best friends, and I totally had a party at our porch table though, ouzo shots and all.

All in all, the best part of my birthday was hearing from everyone I love -family, friends, teachers, mentors, etc.- all in the same day and being lucky enough to spend it with some of them.

The one with the car radio

I generally have to play around with electronics for a while before they even start to have a conversation with me, however, they do eventually listen. This especially goes for the programming buttons on my car’s radio. I have been living back in the Kansas City area for 11 months now and my radio stations are still in-tune with Springfield stations. It might take a lengthy conversation with my radio to get it done, but after 11 months I should say it is nearly time. New goal- program car radio to local KC stations before 12 month mark.

The one with Bambi and Simba

“You got to put your behind in your past.”

Bambi and Simba came together in the Tapley home a couple of weekends ago. For the longest time I had no desire to watch Bambi because I know the mother’s fate. Since I was a kiddo my own mother refused, and I do mean refused, to watch The Lion King because she knew the fate of the father. Somehow a new, and seemingly manageable, goal manifested recently- if I agreed to watch Bambi then my mother would sit through a viewing of The Lion King. Ta da- goal accomplished.

Turns out, Simba and I have a few things in common. We each left home, learned things through the death of loved ones, returned home, and became stronger for it all. When it comes to the Circle of Life, I am fairly pleased with my placement in the ring at the moment. “It’s the circle of life, and it moves us all through despair and hope, through faith and love.” With that in mind, I am sure to come back around to faith and love. Eventually.

“Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance… you need to understand that balance and respect all creatures…” There is delicate balance between despair and hope, and between faith and love. I learn a little more about this balance everyday. Through despair I have renewed a very special friendship from many moons ago and I am thrilled to celebrate in her wedding next month. Through despair I have become ‘Hilly’, Godmother to Addie. It is treasures like these that make me believe that hope will see me through all despair. Despair brought me back home and hope will lead me forward.

Maybe that means staying here where my heart explodes with happiness so often or moving right along to unforeseen adventures. Either way, “I finally got some sense knocked into me, and I’ve got the bump to prove it.”

* Thanks to those who encourage me to continue thinking and writing. I love and appreciate it. 

The one with Micki's Tribute

Handsome guy.

Cuddles. 

Cuddles.

Smart piglet.

I suppose he always loved Darbi Jean.

Grandma even loved Micki.

Micki was Grandpa's favorite. Ssh-don't tell.

Last photo of lil Mister. "Why you jump?"

What a spirited little piggie you were, Micki. I was glad you came to live with me almost three years ago. It was adventuresome from the first day when you climbed inside of the recliner. Because of you there was so much extra love and many more laughs shared. Rest easy with Obi and Pappy. 

The One With Guineas, Dogs, and Queens- Oh My!

A number of weeks ago while at a family gathering, the idea of having a family night at the local drag queen establishment was discussed. Said family night was last night at Missie B’s. It was a mixture of friends and family, the real ‘the more the merrier’ mentality. We laughed, we drank, we sang, we tipped, and we ate a home-style Tapley breakfast afterward. Never in my life did I dream of going out with my parents, my cousins, and my friends in such a fashion. I foresee more Missie B’s experiences in my future!

After a long night out I happily welcomed the opportunity for some extra sleep this morning. Before I continue on with the sage of this morning, let me fill you in on what has been going on with my guinea pigs.

Last weekend I was in Lawrence, KS visiting some fun friends of mine. At the end of the weekend I called my parents to check on things at the homestead since they were kind enough to pet sit for me. It seems as though any time I leave for the weekend there’s a story to be told about the pigs, and last weekend was no exception. I was told that Micki had jumped out of his cage and into Darbi’s. Seeing as this was the absolute first time this had happened nobody could decide if it was accidental or intentional. There was no doubt about the intent when after only a few more days he had joined Darbi countless times.

I finally separated their cages and thought the jumping escapades had ended. Although, at the back of my mind I did fear that he would jump again, only to find the cement floor after a long fall instead of a female’s company.

Fast forward to this morning. Dharma and I were sleeping in bed when I heard the pigs start to squeal, which they do in the mornings. The squeals were a little different than the “hey good morning, we are hungry” squeal so I allowed myself to wake up a little. As I came to I thought to myself, “Micki’s squeal sounds super close, but surely it isn’t because he is on the other side of the basement…” While thinking this through I started to drift back to sleep but Dharma jumped off the bed and I heard another squeal. Still waking up I rolled over and what to my wondering eyes… There was Micki at the side of my bed!

Dharma must have been just as shocked as I was because she was just sniffing at him and as soon as I called her away she obeyed and allowed me to catch him.  I always wondered what Dharma would do with a chance to free play with the pigs and I must boast- I’m proud to report that she was as gentle as ever and refrained from eating him. Micki now has a makeshift topper on his cage. It’s an old window screen. Hopefully this will keep him in. I believe that all animals are safe and sound at this point, although I do still need to research guinea pig menopause to ensure that Darbi will not be having babies anytime soon…

The one with blackened bacon

Last time I wrote I mentioned the fear of water damage. Now, I write about the fear of smoke damage.

A few nights ago Mom suggested having breakfast for dinner, my favorite. The chocolate chip pancakes were doing their thing on the griddle and the bacon was slowly frying in the pan. If you asked Mom, the bacon was frying at too slow a speed so it was transferred to the griddle. Within a handful of seconds the kitchen was filling with smoke. The smoke then started to spill into the dining room, the living room, and then the hallway.

After some shouts, the windows were opened and the fans were switched on. We took action soon enough so as to avoid the smoke alarm sounding. Mom and I laughed and shivered as we transferred the blackened bacon to a paper towel. As mom patted the bacon to rid it of excess grease she heard it crumble. It had turned to crunch.

The smoke was still lingering in the air when Dad, the expert bacon fryer, got home. Moral of the story, be patient and never rush the perfection that comes from frying bacon slowly in a pan. 

The one with the masculine voice

It began about a week and a half ago, when the drain in the basement overflowed. And I do mean overflowed. It was right after I got home from my DC/NY trip and we were forced to monitor our water usage. Short showers (which is a difficult task for me), small laundry loads, letting the yellow mellow (which totally grosses me out), and remembering to turn the water off during teeth brushing time. This became the new way of life around the Tapley house until…

Tonight…

I got home from work and walked downstairs to let the doggies outside and was overcome with the smell of sewage. I let the doggies outside as planned and then walked over to the drain to check it out. It appeared as though it had, at some point during the day, overflowed some. I considered this, but only made a mental note to inform Mom and Pop when they got home.

The information came when Mom got home and we went to check on said drain yet again. It had water sitting in it this time, so Mom used the ‘sucker’ and got it out. Then, however, the drain filled up immediately again, only this time with more water than before. Now we were in for it.

At some point it seemed under control, so I came upstairs and started making dinner. Just as dinner was finishing I heard a loud shout of profanity from down below. The drain was flooding. We used the ‘sucker’ again and started moving all of my material possessions out of the way. We were barely staying above water and we found out Dad was on his way home.

By the time Dad got home the water was rushing. The City of Independence finally came out, about an hour and a half after they were first called. They took pictures of the water in the basement, which wasn’t as bad as Uncle Ted’s five inches next door, and then went outside to climb down into the man hole. Perhaps they met the Ninja Turtles down there and they are actually the ones who deserve my appreciation? After some work, the water in the basement miraculously lowered and got sucked back into the drain and disappeared. Crisis over.

The entire time that I was down below working hard with my parents to keep the water at bay I heard something in my head. It was a masculine voice explaining what I would one day realize from the situation and how it would impact the way that I view my parents, the world, and myself. I believe the voice was that of Daniel Stern, Narrator of The Wonder Years. I probably should have heard a feminine voice, my voice, telling me these things. I probably should have also been referring to myself as Hilary and not Kevin, but it’s the lessons that are most important.

I realized, yet again, how blessed I am to have a family that welcomed me home and works hard to protect me (and all my material possessions).  I realized how important it is to set aside petty problems and silly differences in times of need. I realized how proud I am of my parents, individually and as a unit. Having been married and now living with them again, makes me see them in a much different way and watching them tonight I was impressed at how well they worked together towards a common goal. I also realized how I often seem to magnify my own problems and down play the problems of others.  I constantly have to remind myself that “everyone has problems- the world is full of problems.” (Merlin from the Sword In the Stone) Along with that, I constantly have to remind myself that I have choices.

So, thanks to: Mom and Pop, the City of Independence, and Daniel Stern.

The One With Lizzie Jo In Times Square

Elizabeth Josephine Quimby (Lizzie Jo) took the trip of a lifetime. She, along with her friends Briony Reeves and Julia Yale, traveled to the far away Big Apple land known as New York to celebrate the commencement of 2012.

The trip began a little something like this-

Lizzie Jo and Julia boarded a plane in Kansas City, Missouri. Also on the flight were some friends of Lizzie Jo’s, Za and Sa. Lizzie Jo sat next to a young lad on the plane. She learned during the flight that he was a professional flyer due to being born in England and moving to American when he was just two years old. Lizzie Jo referred to this young lad in her brain as ‘Harry Potter’. The flight attendant, as she sped through her safety spiel, mentioned Alec Baldwin and suggested those on board power down their electronics and temporarily end any Words with Friends games so as to not have a repeat fiasco. The flight to Chicago was dandy except for the extremely rough landing. It was the kind that silences the passengers and then evokes nervous laughter at having survived.

The gate for the connecting flight was forever away, so Lizzie Jo and Julia booked it across the moving walkway at Midway Airport. Upon finding the correct gate, Lizzie Jo opened a box of Zicam and popped a dose into her mouth and let it dissolve on her tongue while Julia went to buy bananas. The back of the Zicam box advised staying away from citrus after taking a dose. Lizzie Jo debated internally as well as externally as to whether or not a banana was considered a citrus. It is not. Still in her sick-headed fog, a young Harry Potter appeared before Lizzie Jo. Turns out it was just a young boy in costume, but still. Harry Potter seemed to be infiltrating Lizzie Jo’s brain.

Glad to finally be on the plane, Lizzie Jo and Julia leaned back and listened as the flight attendant gave her shtick. This gal knew how to entertain her flyers. She clarified that by turning on the flight attendant light they would not be turning her on. She also stated that they needed to turn their electronics to airplane mode otherwise they would go straight to the commode. It was all laughs with this flight until the pilot came over the intercom saying there was some duct taping that the wing needed. WHAT? Lizzie Jo looked out her window to the wing. It appeared in tact. Oh wait; a man was now inside the plane duct taping an overhead bin- crisis averted.

Lizzie Jo and Julia arrived at the Baltimore Washington International Airport and ran into only a few minor mishaps in locating their ride- their friend Briony. Briony easily located the two by recognizing Lizzie Jo’s walk. Once Briony was located and luggage was chucked into the trunk the girls were off to find sustenance, food. With as late as it was fast food chicken nuggets, French fries, and ice cream would have to suffice. Over the multitude of chicken nuggets the girls yacked about books. Which ones made their lists for the new year, which ones impressed and which ones depressed, and which ones would be reread.

Next on the agenda was for the girls to drop their bags off at Briony’s house in Washington DC. This event led into an exchange of Christmas gift- most of which were books. Lizzie Jo acquired some of the Harry Potter series and Briony got an Alice in Wonderland puzzle. Before the girls went wild and tore the puzzle box open, Julia spoke up about going to visit her friend.

Lizzie Jo, Julia, and Briony hopped in the car and ventured over to see the friend of Julia. She lived in a swanky place with hardwood floors and a big window with a view. White wine was poured into glasses and sipped while a Pandora station played ‘J Crew’ tunes. Accusations were made about Lizzie Jo, Julia, and Briony being crazy for making plans to be in New York City on New Year’s Eve, but alas, the girls are crazy.

The first night Julia took the bed and Lizzie Jo slept on the air mattress. Night seemed to transition into morning all to quickly and was first seen when canine Cheese leapt onto the air mattress and awoke Lizzie Jo from her treasured slumber. The girls laughed and decided to gear up and get to the bus station. Clothes were layered, boots were laced, scarves and gloves were donned, money was hidden in intimate apparel, and bags were packed.

Once at the bus station Julia and Briony dumped Lizzie Jo along with the bags at the pick up gate and went to find drinks. Lizzie Jo requested a chi tea latte, but what she received was not in any way a chi tea latte. Thank you for nothing Au Bon Pain. Aboard the bus, Lizzie Jo sat next to a gal who seemed to be equally as sick as she was, so she felt less pathetic anytime she would cough, sneeze, or blow her nose. Julia made friends with her seatmate and loved watching all the east coast scenery that buzzed by her window.

After the bus spit the girls out in New York City they worked their way to Lu W’s west side apartment. A mariachi band serenaded them to the stop they needed and the apartment was just around the corner from there. Lu’s sister, Li, greeted them at the door and escorted them up to the 7^th floor where they were welcomed to stay for the night. The girls took advantage of the sofa for a few minutes before layering up for the Big Celebration. Li gazed from afar and listened as the girls talked each other through the preparations.

Lizzie Jo was the first to secure her Depend under layers of jeans, tights, and unmentionables. She liked to use the idea of jumping on a trampoline as a metaphor for sitting with a Depend on. Being in a super big crowd and not having access to a bathroom was the catalyst for wearing a Depend. Julia also had a “Depend bottom”. After the pat downs were made to make sure all things were in place, the girls took Li’s keys and excitedly descended to the main floor. They jumped on the subway after loading up on Luigi’s Pizza and began inching their way to Times Square.

Barricades were already in place by the time the girls neared the area of the Big Celebration. After blocks and blocks of walking and attempting to find the best way to merge with the crowd they finally had a slight rhythm to their walk. That was so until Briony saw a crack in the crowd and broke through it. The girls linked hands and away they went. They flew in and out of a sea of people, trash, puddles, conversations, and confusion. Another group of girls, larger in numbers than theirs, joined their link and was impressed at Briony’s skill to worm her way through the throngs of people. Intersection after intersection and barricade after barricade the girls continued. They were passing so many people and seemed to be making good time, but unfortunately got stopped and decided to push their way through security checkpoint number one. From one side of the barricade to the other the crowd was forced to single file and belongings were searched. Lizzie Jo, Julia, and Briony passed security but lost their new friends somewhere in the jumble.

Back on their own, the three girls sought out a spot that looked promising for seeing the celebrities and for getting a new year’s kiss, neither of which became a reality. They ended up on Broadway and 51^st Street and had made it through another security checkpoint. For as far away as they were and considering they could not hear anything or see anything, they had a memorable evening. Every hour, before the countdown signifying the new year at some location on the globe, the girls sang a little song and took turns quoting favorite movies and books. Lizzie Jo started this routine by giving an approximate 30-minute synopsis, with quotes, of ‘The Goonies’. Briony went the next hour by giving a synopsis of ‘The Lion King’. And lastly, on Julia’s turn, she gave a synopsis of “The Little Princess”. 

Lizzie Jo discovered that beneath the craze of the Big Celebration there loomed a quiet, dark, slow, and comforting setting. So, after each synopsis, the girls planned their song for the coming hour and Lizzie Jo found herself resting on the underside of the Big Celebration.

As time went on Lizzie Jo sat down every hour not only to give her feet a reprieve, but also to relax her aching and dehydrated body. The closer the tick tocks got to 2012 the more the girls could feel the lack of fluid intake in their drying out bones. Lizzie Jo had already gotten great use out of wearing her Depend and had lost count of exactly how many great uses had come of it. Julia did not make use of hers.

The time had come to make the final countdown- the countdown for the new year in Times Square. Phones, cameras, glow sticks, you name it were being held up to the night sky. Sixty seconds- Lizzie Jo tried to call her parents back in Missouri to include them on the countdown but was unable to get a connection. 30 seconds- Lizzie Jo started to vocalize the count but felt nauseous so she held off. 10 seconds- Lizzie Jo was counting now.

These were the ten seconds that over one million people- strangers- had joined together to celebrate. It was an unreal ten seconds. Lizzie Jo had always watched Dick Clark and the rest of Times Square count down to the new year. It always looked so magical and mesmerizing and there she was, finally apart of the Big Celebration. 3-2-1: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Lizzie Jo threw her arms around her friends and reveled in the moment.

Almost immediately after the countdown the girls were ready to evacuate their spot and find the nearest watering hole. That hole took the form of a Cuban bar with a lot of dancing and balloons. After hydrating themselves they took to the streets to journey back to Lu W’s apartment. It took endurance and strength to baby step through the crowd, to accept the closed subway, and to toss aside a hard ‘soft’ pretzel. It was not until a fight broke out and people swarmed around to watch that Lizzie Jo, Julia, and Briony were able to make a big advance in the direction they needed to go. Again, they flew in and out of a sea of people, trash, puddles, conversations, and confusion and somehow made it to an open subway station.

The subway proved to be a faithful friend by safely depositing them at the correct stop. The three girls went to the market for ice cream and sorbet before returning to the apartment. Once there, they collapsed and purchased bus tickets back to Washington DC for the following morning. After carefully removing her depend, Lizzie Jo wrapped it in a plastic bag and dropped it in the trash. She was kind enough to take it out to the trash heap herself in the morning after saying the final goodbyes. Finally the time had come to turn out the lights on the Big Celebration. Lizzie Jo fell asleep with visions of fireworks and confetti dancing in her head.

Acknowledgements:

I want to pay great tribute to Amanda J. Happy and Stephanie D. Frazon for not only being fantastic friends, but for defending my silver lining by accompanying me on a trip that allowed me to mark something off my Life List and put order to some things that had fallen out of place. Another hearty thanks to Lindsay and Luke Whorton for not only hosting, but for being exceptional in their offerings. Cheers- here’s to life. And also to welcoming 2013 at home in my jammies.

“Fear is a friend who’s misunderstood, but I know the heart of life is good.” –John Mayer