The One with Hygge

"Hygge is about these little pauses, where you actually have a cup of tea or coffee, and just sit for a minute without doing anything. And just be. And that seems to be disappearing in our culture."

. . . 

"It's celebrations, but also a day-to-day thing. Morning coffee is hyggelig. Understanding all the little special moments during the day, where you have a pause, where you relax a little."

With no prior knowledge of hygge until this morning while reading articles on NPR, last night my best favorite and I had our first weekly "quiet night"/hygge night. We intentionally put our phones down for a while, although there was still some prank texting and FaceTime moments spent with my goddaughter. We made a meal together and gave cheers to the night over dark German beer. We spent time chatting about what we love about the people we love and what is important to us. And we laughed. It is my hope that we will continue to implement these moments naturally and intentionally and have at least one night a week devoted to pause and quiet.

"Don't wait, just invite people. I think it makes people feel more loved and convivial when it's not a big plan, and nothing looks perfect. That's what life is."


The article that inspired this writing.

The One with the Dis-ease

Although I had a lovely and relaxing Thanksgiving holiday I had a nagging in my core about all the appointments upon my return to work. The busy nagging of the busy efforts that awaited while I was busy celebrating the holiday persisted and became a slight source of anxiety that I could not allow to settle, try as I might.

To kick off the holiday I met my best favorite guy at the car shop so I could drive him home after we left his Jeep to have some work done. The following days were filled with loads of traditions and love as we celebrated with friends and family. The Monday of my turn to busy work life my best favorite was still without his Jeep, so he was home from work. Begrudgingly I left for work, the busy day I had been dreading for a week. I met my first client in the community and it went really well, so I was pleased to admit I had been unreasonable in my dread.

Less begrudgingly this time, I left for my next appointment in another town. My disposition quickly changed when my car did not start. While I questioned why and how this was happening now, today, I laughed and thought, “so it goes”. Now it was Superdad to the rescue. I have an exorbitant amount of gratitude for that man today. I just wish we had found his wrench before we both drove away to continue our busy days.

Being forced to take a break on a busy day of dread made me think of how much that break really was needed, even after a few days of respite. It was a reminder to take time to breath, to meditate, and to set reason to the things I do. While I was waiting for my Dad to arrive I happened to read an article that spoke straight to my soul. The premise of the article can be found in the following quote.

“This disease of being “busy” (and let’s call it what it is, the dis-ease of being busy, when we are never at ease) is spiritually destructive to our health and wellbeing. It saps our ability to be fully present with those we love the most in our families, and keeps us from forming the kind of community that we all so desperately crave.”

Being fully aware of the thoughts in my head I made serious attempts to be fully present with those I met with for the remainder of the day. People kept encouraging me to “have a better day” after I would remark about car troubles and each time I was reminded that I already was having a better day.

The power of being aware of how and why we do things can create in us a sense of calm that can be expressed even in the presence of “busy”. I certainly identify as having the Busy Dis-ease. My prayer with this identification and knowledge is that I am able to voluntarily take the needed breaks before they are forced upon me. I also pray that even in the midst of busy I am able to understand the why and how I am busy and that that knowledge will allow me to be more present with the ones I love. I pray to be more at ease.

The Disease of Being Busy

The One with the Gratitude Stone

High Country Gems and Minerals is a fantastic little gem (see what I did there?) of a shop in Downtown Glenwood Springs, Colorado. Each trip to Glenwood Springs I make sure to stop in and I never leave empty handed. The hospitable staff always encourage taking a “gratitude stone” before leaving. There is a big cauldron type basin of stones to choose from. The idea is to put it in your pocket (or wherever) and every time you find it you are reminded of all that you have to be grateful for.

Well, today I am back to work and the real world and I just found my gratitude stone in my purse. Being home from vacation is damn difficult, but I am choosing to recognize all that I have to be grateful for.

I am grateful to have many places to call home.

I am grateful for lasting connections to people.

I am grateful for the power of choice.

I am grateful for the means with which to make vacations possible: paid time off at work, family to care for my dogs and house, and varying types of transportation.

I am grateful for quiet moments of reflection.

I am grateful for good books.

And I am grateful for my bed.

Being a big kid is tough and daunting, but I have to remind myself that if I have made it this far then I can certainly make it farther. That is made possible by being grateful for what I have and learning to appreciate the way life happens.

The following website was particularly relevant today.

https://www.unstuck.com/gratitude/

Here’s to spirits of gratitude.

The One with Lean on Me

To be buried or drown beneath a huge mass.

To be defeated completely.

To give too much of a thing to (someone); inundate.

To be overwhelmed.

This is me.

Taking things in stride and being strong is a source of pride for me. At this moment, however there is little stride or strength.  There is mostly overwhelming weariness. I’m tired of always having to be strong which is why I resonated so strongly with the following article on Elephant Journal recently. 

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/04/im-tired-of-always-having-to-be-strong/

“There is no shame in needing someone. There is no fault in saying: I can’t do this life thing all on my own.’” Luckily for me, I am not doing this life thing all on my own. I am forever grateful to the few I can always count on whether there is sad news to share or fun things to celebrate. A cousin of mine said it best just a few days ago, “we are all here for each other.” Thank God. 

This reminds me of a time when my cousins and I were all significantly younger. For whatever reason we all had matching striped shirts with the only variation being the color. We wore these shirts and performed for our parents a learned choreographed dance to Lean on Me taught to us by a certain older cousin. We leaned on each other then and we lean on each other now.

Lean on the ones you love. And allow them to lean on you. Life is better together. 

The One with the France Sized Heart

Today my best favorite guy is celebrating his one year Missouri anniversary.

Our year in Kansas City has been full of BBQ, beer, and baseball. Although I am incredibly pleased to call Missouri our home, the truth is that home is wherever we are together. Whether we are cheering for the Kansas City Royals at Kauffman Stadium, relaxing in the hot springs in Glenwood Springs, overlooking Paris from the top of the Arc de Triomphe, or drinking goasmass in Germany; I am glad he lets me share my France sized heart with him.

 “She had a heart the size of France, and the lucky few whom she loved with it were loved with every square inch...” Ransom Riggs, Library of Souls

The One with #Birthdays

Today is my grandma's birthday and the day she died. I remember celebrating our birthdays together near the end. It was a sweet way to celebrate my Sweet 16. #OodlesAndGobs

Having now celebrated thirty, THIRTY, birthdays I am thinking back to some of the most memorable ones.

I was young and my parents had gone out one night, leaving me at home with a phone number to reach them in case of emergency only. Not long after they left there was a commercial on TV announcing Celine Dion’s tour dates. When I heard that she would be in Kansas City on my actual birthday (and one day before hers) I freaked out. And I mean that. There were screams. There were tears. There was a phone call to my parents. Although it must have sounded like it was an emergency, it most definitely was not. Once I explained what was going on and that I wanted to go to Celine’s show my mother chastised me for using the emergency number out of context and said that we would talk about Celine at a later time. Fast forward to my birthday. My mom and I were with my best friend and her mom watching Celine pound her chest while singing. It was my first concert and it was amazing. #TeamCeline #MyHeartWillGoOn

In the height of my Jayhawk basketball fandom, my parents agreed to a weekend trip to Lawrence, Kansas where we would check out all things basketball. We had just gotten a new dog and decided to bring him with us, which may have been a decent decision had the air conditioning worked in our hotel room. Alas, the air conditioning did not work; therefore, we kept our door propped open to create air flow. This meant that our dog was on his leash to prevent escaping as he barked at every passerby. #RockChalk

For my fifth grade birthday party I decided just to invite my two best friends. Even though I found out at the party that they did not really like each other it was still one of my favorite birthdays. My parents took us to the Country Club Plaza in Kansas City where we ate at the Cheese Cake Factory and saw a rerelease of Grease at the theater. Once back at home I, along with my guests, were all gifted a Nano Baby (a digital baby). I am fairly certain that we spent the remainder of the party tending to our babies. #GreaseIsTheWord

When I turned 18 I was lucky enough to be in France. I was on an exchange trip with my high school and on my birthday we were in Normandy. “The Normandy American Cemetery is one of fourteen permanent American World War II military cemeteries constructed on foreign soil by the American Battle Monuments Commission.”** It was a rainy day and our group was rushed, so I am especially anxious to revisit this site in a few short weeks and spend more time experiencing this part of history. #ViveLaFrance #BonAnniversaire

For my 21st birthday I hopped on a plane and flew to Texas to visit my best friend who was going to school at Baylor. I had visions of enjoying a nice glass of wine with my birthday dinner, but upon being seated at a recommended Italian restaurant we learned that we had come to a BYOB establishment... empty handed. We stayed. We ate. We laughed at our misfortune. Even once we were in a place that served and sold alcohol it was a game of hard to get. My best friend was not yet 21, so no one wanted to encourage any illegal activity at our table. We stayed. We laughed. And I (eventually) drank. A margarita. Finally. #BYOB

A few years ago I was finally able to convince my parents to take a trip to Colorado to visit friends that they had not seen in years. This became my birthday trip and it was on this trip that I was reconnected with some friends from childhood, and am now happily dating one of them.  Along with reconnecting with some awesome people, I was also the designated driver the entire weekend. Although fun, I did get my parents back and made them the designated drivers for my birthday trip to Colorado last year when we stayed at the Stanley Hotel. #DesignatedDriver

Last year, for my Golden Birthday, I went to Estes Park, Colorado with my parents and my boyfriend. We stayed at the Stanley Hotel where we experienced some ghosties, knocked back some drinks at the bar, and made new friends while drinking “tastables” in the third floor hallway. Read about that birthday here. #TheShining #Haunted

I have said it before and I will say it again, I love birthdays! Even now that I am thirty I still love birthdays. I am very thankful to every single person who has ever helped me celebrate a birthday and I look forward to what future celebrations I will reminisce on when I am sixty and can only hope to have as much love around me on my last birthday as my grandma did on hers.

** American Battle Monuments Commission online information

The One with #RefugessWelcome

My heart aches with uncertainty in this moment and it is deepening the pit in my stomach. Upon getting to work yesterday, I had an email from the Executive Director of my company stating, “There is unconfirmed information from our advocacy partners that Trump will shortly be issuing an executive order that impacts refugee resettlement.” Shortly thereafter, I received another (forwarded) email, this time from the Director of Government and Community Relations of the U.S. Committee for Refugees and Immigrants in Arlington, Virginia. This email addressed the same executive order saying, “Now that the announcement has gotten media attention, we want to send voices DIRECTLY TO TRUMP expressing opposition, in an effort to change these plans. We need to take action NOW. SHARE WITH YOUR STAFF, VOLUNTEERS, and SUPPORTERS.” The email concluded with suggested tweets to share and hash tags to use.

I will admit that I am ignorant of a lot in the way of politics; however, refugee resettlement IS something that I actually know something about. Working for and with refugees as well as having been accepted into a pocket of culturally oppressed Americans, many with dual citizenship, has broadened my heart to a fuller love of all people. No matter how different or similar. It was for the lessons of love that I have learned from my resettled friends, as well as the people I have met and the traditions I have adopted through my travels, that I eagerly tweeted our President, signed a petition, and continued to think. Think of all the things I regularly take for granted. Think of the ways in which the world we live in is changing. Think of the ways I can continue to show love to all people. And think of ways to be more mindful of my language and attitude.

In being more mindful of my language and attitude I will be challenging myself to remember the difference between WANT and NEED. Before a trip to the grocery store I make a list of what I NEED. Truth be told, the items on that list are not NEEDed. I may WANT those items so that I can make a desired dinner or dessert, but I can certainly live without them. By being more cognizant of my language, even as simply as WANT vs NEED, I believe that my attitude will be a better reflection of the love I always hope to show to all people. 

I have said it before and I will say it again. People are what make my world go round. Not white people. Not American people. Not Christian people. Not straight people. Not men. Not women. Not gay people. Not black people. Not Syrian people. Not Jewish people. Just people. All people. Learn from them. Love them. Welcome them. 

Come in! Entrez! Komm herein! تعال!

#refugeeswelcome