The One with Lake Therapy

Lake therapy always comes at a good time. The times when I feel lonely, impatient, overwhelmed, and sad. Staring out over the ripples in the water is calming to my soul and my brain. Even on the lake my thoughts keep running, however, the change in atmosphere attempts to offer a different insight. Being on the boat offers uninterrupted think time. And, even more so, uninterrupted time to capture a sunburn.

It is not a new revelation, but it is one that I am finally owning up to about myself- I would rather hold on to something that is good, even if I know that better may exist, than to say goodbye. I have done this with jobs, relationships, bras, just about everything.

Another revelation that is not new to me is that happiness is a choice. That said, I feel like I should be happy about the possibility that people keep reassuring me is awaiting. Their assurance will eventually sink in as truth, I know this, but for the moment I have too many emotions to work through before I have enough courage to make the choice to be happy. Through the good memories and uncertainties looming ahead (and now the insanely uncomfortable sunburn), sometimes happiness is the most courageous decision to make for the day.

Special thanks to these two for having a special way of loving me and being there to reassure me and invite me out on the boat...

The One with the Book List: I Was Told There'd Be Cake

Ramona Quimby has been a favorite character of mine since I can remember. When I was a kid I used to read the Beverly Cleary books all the time and even checked out Ramona videos from the library. I especially loved the mystery meat video. 

Paired with "Ramona Quimby, Age 8" was a book called "I Was Told There'd be Cake". This book is a compilation of essays written from a real life twenty-something gal whose quirky ways hooked me from the first page, much as Ramona is loved for her quirks.

"I Was Told There'd be Cake" had me laughing out loud, admiring the crass description of feelings, and left me wanting to be real life friends with the author, Sloane Crosley. Sloane and I could chat about our wedding less futures over tarts. 

The One with Dizzy Possibilities

This quote is particularly true of my life right now, "All this possibility made me dizzy with a strange kind of grief."- Karen Russell

I am grieving as I say goodbye to my days at Rainbow and as I say goodbye to a fun relationship. As these things end I realize that it opens me to new possibilities, but I am not good with endings. I mean, it took me an absurd amount of time to recover and move on after I finished the Harry Potter series and those were only books. So, at least for the moment, I am left dizzy. My brain is dizzy, my heart is dizzy, my life is dizzy. I am dizzy with the choices of possibility. 

The world is mine, I can do everything or nothing, all I have to do is anything. Thanks J.M. Barrie and your story of Peter Pan for helping me with this revelation. Now, to live it...