Today I spent time with my parents for the first time in several weeks. Together we shared a meal, laughs, and a few tears as we reminisced about my late uncle.
The last time I saw my uncle before he died was with a few other family members. For this particular outing to Starbucks, our usual meeting spot, one of my aunts had gone deep into the archives and dug out one of their old junior high year books. The way those around the table rolled their eyes and the way their mouths formed into smirks as they all took turns flipping through the year book and reading aloud questionable messages from old loves and classmates will remain etched in my memory.
For some reason, tonight while I was at my parent’s house, I dug out my senior year high school year book. There was a message scrawled on one of back pages from a girl I was good friends with at the time. She spoke to a truth that, even in my youthful naïveté, defined me then and still defines me now. “You have influenced me to be a better person and I thank you for that. You have the ability to set an example to the world and you’ve already started at Truman.”
Later, in the shower with suds soaking my locks and Mumford and Sons lyrics soaking my soul I was suddenly unable to differentiate between faucet water and tears. I don’t know if it’s the peaceful privacy to sing as loud as I want or the tranquil transparency of thought but the shower seems to be a weirdly consistent place of spiritual solitude. With the year book quote still on my mind I began thinking about the places and people that I have invested my love throughout my life.
“In these bodies we will live, in theses bodies we will die
And where you invest your love, you invest your life”
Where you invest your love, you invest your life. Damn true. I was lucky enough to have an abundance of loving influences in my life when I was young and I learned from them how to invest in life and love from early on. It’s never too early to invest in love. Others can see it clearly when we are confident in our truths and that friend of mine in high school saw mine.
“Let me learn from where I have been
Keep my eyes to serve and my hands to learn”
Let me learn from where I have been. God, the time in quarantine has certainly lent itself to self reflection. I certainly wouldn’t be where I am without all the good, bad, and ugly that I’ve experienced and God, have I learned from where I have been. I’ve been heaps of places with a diverse lot of people and have gained profusely from each. My continued prayer is to keep my eyes to serve and my hands to learn so that I can be the kind of example to the world that others have been to me.
“I will learn to love the skies I’m under”
Whether I am at Starbucks with an empty seat next to me where my uncle should be, at home for days on end because the pandemic hasn’t ended yet, or in foreign lands eating mussels and frites I will learn to love the skies I’m under. I will be content to know that there are lessons to learn and ways to serve. And I will walk slow, as quarantine has taught me the beauty of slowing down, to more fully love and invest.
“I walk slow
I walk slow
Take my hand help me on my way”
We are better together. Community is important. We each have something to teach and we each have something to learn. May we walk hand in hand with each other along the way and be confident in our truths.
Here’s to showering with Mumford and Sons and investing in love.
