Today is beautiful. The sun is shining and the words are
encouraging. I am reminded today of what it means to carry each other's
burdens. What it means to listen. What it means to be honest. What it means to
uplift. And what it means to accept uncertainties, truth, and encouragement. My
huddle of encouragers has been impecciblably timed and a complete godsend.
I have been unusually bummed recently with the misfortune of
innumerable career rejections and the feeling of stagnation in my current
chapter of life. Being single is great and a choice I am making, but when most
others around me have a different way of life and I do not have a desire to
adapt to the same dreams, I find myself asking, "isn't there more to
life?" Typically I pride myself on looking for the positives and holding
fast to the positives in situations. Lately, however, staying positive has
simply left me exhausted. A dear friend recently reminded me that it is natural
and ok, even good and healthy, to allow myself to experience these feelings, to
work through them, and to learn from them. I need to allow myself this time to
feel these things and trust that the encouraging words from irreplaceable
friends and family will eventually carry me through.
Often I find it easier to be positive about other people's
burdens than it is to be about my own. There is something to be said about
being trusted and invited to trudge alongside someone's struggles, however, I
tend to want to trudge through mine alone. I am reluctant to accept help and
often even simple encouragement. If I cannot accept this from others I cannot
be expcected to accept this from myself. This must change. I want to believe
and trust enough to feel real things, to encourage myself and others, and to
see the beauty in every day. Because even in the shitty days, there is still
beauty to be seen, no matter how deeply buried.
My go-to song at the moment
