The one with choosing to be happy

Tonight was spent much the same as it was 11 years ago. 11 years ago tonight I was sitting in the front yard with my parents, watching the fireworks, playing with the dogs, and reflecting on how much my grandpa’s death earlier that day would begin to affect our lives. Tonight, I sat in the front yard with my parents, watched the fireworks, played with different dogs (they had a picnic), and reflected on past men in my life.

It’s interesting how different situations can affect people in such similar ways. Death and divorce both leave a sense of loneliness and loss. I have always thought that happiness was a choice, but it was not until the last few weeks that I have really started to believe it. I see destruction, death, loneliness, fear, sadness, anxiety, and stress all around me. I have felt such an array of emotions in the last three months and am starting to realize that although I often feel alone, I am not. I find ways to choose to be happy. I am also starting to recognize that even some of the happiest people I know deal with destruction, death, loneliness, fear, sadness, anxiety, and stress. There is always a choice to be happy.

Even though I have moments that I choose to be sad and trudge through grief and moments I choose to be livid and work through more grief I am starting to find myself choosing to make and enjoy happy times more and more often.

Today, before the firework viewing in the front yard, my dad and I went to the New Theater Restaurant. The show was ‘Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat’. The lunch was as to be expected, yummy. I ate ocean perch, mashed potatoes, rolls, green beans, and chicken. I also enjoyed a fancy rum and coke and crème brulee for dessert. The unfortunate thing about the rum and coke was that I was up late the night before with my friend Amanda, so I was unusually sleepy after the rum set in.

Who doesn’t love the movie ‘Sister Act’? I know that, as ridiculous as it may be, Amanda and I like to watch it and did so last night. We also love to chat early into the morning and talk of all the books we want to read together, the meanings we’ve found so far in life, and of all the silly things we remember from high school.

Yesterday, before the movie watching, I met up with my friend Kara. We caught up on what has been happing in Springfield, what has been happening in Independence, and what might be happening in the future. Talking with her was the catalyst for my being aware of happiness being a choice and for that I choose to happy.

Friday my mom and I spent the day at Powell Gardens and ate lunch at the Thyme Cafe. It was hot. It was sticky. We sweat. We walked, a lot. We broke down and we rode the trolley. The gardens were beautiful and I remembered how much I enjoyed working at the gardens a few summer’s ago. It’s a peaceful place and it was nice to share it with my mom.

In choosing to be happy, I see a happy face in the above photo: flower on top right

I am so happy to have such an assortment of people around to share life with. I am remembering how fun it is to go out, stay up late, and have good friends and family around. I had a good weekend and am excited to extent it through tomorrow and spend time on the water with my cousin Justin, his wife Katie, and the ever adorable Adeline.

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)

And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time to weep

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)

And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down

A time to dance, a time to mourn

A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)

And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time of love, a time of hate

A time of war, a time of peace

A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)

And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose

A time to rend, a time to sew

A time for love, a time for hate

A time for peace, I swear it's not too late

- The Byrds, or as listened to today, Dolly Parton