The One with C'est la Vie

Deciding to leave my full-time job was the hard part, actually leaving was a little easier.

Now, it has been over a year that I made that decision and although countless other decisions have been made since, I am no closer to pinning down what I am doing with my life, at least not in the societal sense. Meaning society thinks I should have a career plan and a family plan, but here I am all like, "hey, life is an adventure and I'm having fun exploring the paths I want even if other people are exploring different ones."

When quitting my job I silently told myself that I would surely have a plan to enact by the time I had traveled to France (and back) for the wedding celebration of my sister.  Well, I embark on that journey to France at the end of the week and still have no idea what is next for my life. Maybe three weeks of travel, various language immersions and currencies, seeing old friends, making new friends, and simply being away from my safe place will be just the inspiration I need to make some decisions.

Until then, my only plan is to enjoy life, love those around me, and find beauty in seeing new places. In all honesty though, that is always my plan... It'll simply be time to expand that plan when I get back.C'est la vie...

The One with Alone Time

Between spending an unusual amount of time alone lately and just discovering that hitRECord is now on Netflix and watching the first episode, of which was regarding the number one and what it means, I feel compelled to write.

"I'm sick, I can't go out."

"It's too hot outside to do anything or go anywhere."

"I'm tired from work."

"I'm trying to save money before my trip."

These are all the statements I have found myself giving the last few weeks for why I choose to stay in for yet another day and another night. I recognize now, however, that these statements were actually my body and mind telling me to simply take some time to myself. Be lazy. Be restful. Be mindful.

After a few weeks of choosing much alone time I now find that when I do go out and spend time amongst the people, my people, I am more attentive to their stories and needs. I feel some of that is because I have spent so much time with my own thoughts that I am sincerely interested in hearing someone else's and also because I am anxious to hear anyone else's voice besides by own.

I like partaking in community and giving of myself and my time. It is what makes me feel like a good friend and like I am doing things that matter. That said, although my communal activities have been limited lately, I know just how important alone time is to then make time in community even more beneficial.

"I just need some time away to remember why I stay." - Joseph Gordon-Levitt, The Tiny Book of Tiny Stories, Vol. 2

The One with June: The Month of the Selfie Stick

At the beginning of June a friend lent her selfie stick to me for a wedding I was going to and little did I know how ridiculous... ridiculously fun... it would prove to be. I ended up purchasing my own and continue to have ridiculous amounts of fun with it. It has now gone with me to a wedding, a Royals game, Powell Gardens, a birthday party, and other random places.

Here's to July being just as much fun!

The One with The Jerusalem Cafe Prayer

"Faith comes in all shapes and sizes." That was my mom's response after I told her about a recent  happening at work. A table of four young girls, one of which moved about in a wheelchair, seemed most pleasant as I dropped off their drinks. That was my only interaction with them durning their dining experience, however, as they were leaving I extended good night salutations and began cleaning their table. My hands were full of dirty cups and plates when I turned around to see that two of the girls were coming back to the table. After misunderstanding one of them an awkward amount of times, one of my co-workers finally clarified for me- the girls were asking if and how they could pray for me that night. Fumbling for words through my surprise, I somehow managed to mention that my grandma had just died and that it would be nice if she could pray for the resolution of her estate and for my family. Then, after introducing ourselves, the girl in the wheel chair bowed her head and prayed aloud right there, in the middle of the restaurant, for my dad and for the rest of my family. After the final "amen", I thanked her most sincerely and again said good night. 

As I finished cleaning the table afterward I thought back to the days when I prayed like those girls. I thought about the days when I circled around people and requested specific ways I could pray for them and then did. I thought about how my feelings of prayer have changed and how most often it is more of a heart thing than it is verbal thing anymore... Something I feel and express in my heart versus what I say with words. I may often complicate my words, but God knows my heart and that is what I will trust. 

So many things will remain with me for a long time from this prayerful interaction, one of which is having another co-worker ask why I was the one the girls approached in regards to prayer. I had not been the one to serve them and spent no time conversing with them, so why was I chosen. I told her it was because maybe they knew that she would scream things about wanting to win the lottery while their heads were bowed. 

Considering the many mixed feelings I had about the whole thing, my final thought is that it was simply one kind soul reaching out and showing love through the ways she knows... 

God bless. 

The One with Grandma and the Will

As my end of the month deadline for posting a blog has arrived, the end of a life has given me the need to write. My grandma Tapley, my last grandparent, passed away this morning. Last week while she was in the hospital, after I finished an appointment at the same hospital, I stopped by her room to visit. She held on to my hand so tight and after asking what I could do for her, she requested that I stay with her and tell her stories. She promptly fell asleep, but I stayed by her side for a bit and listened to her snore. Those moments listening to her snore are now my most precious memories of me and my grandma Tapley as they are the only moments we shared just the two of us. I feel extremely grateful that my last words to my grandma were sentiments of love.

Thanks was given to Grandma this afternoon when rummaging through the house for her Will. After hours of searching through drawers and closets, envelopes and boxes, nooks and crannies, bills and coins, my mom sat her armload down and exclaimed, "Ok, Doris. Where is it?" No sooner had she finished her exclamation when the bottom of the plastic Walmart sack I had just picked up busted open and out dropped the Will. Thanks Grandma. 

There are few sweeter words than "grandma" and I already miss having someone to call that.

Rest easy Grandma. 

The One with Take Your Child to Work Day

One of my favorite days of the year when I was a kid was "Take Your Child to Work Day". Working with my dad on "Take Your Child to Work Day" consisted of driving to a couple of appointments in the morning, eating lunch at Pizza Hut, and going to see a movie at the theater. This was the annual routine and it made me feel so special to spend the day working (and also kind of playing hooky) with my dad. 

Maybe it was those days of pizza and movies during the week and having the freedom and flexibility to do so because of the nature of my dad's work that has me interested in finding something similiar. Once I'm eventually settled into whatever that happens to be I may have to invite my dad for our own "Take Your Dad to Work Day". 

So, for all of that, thanks Pop. Pizza's on me next time. 

Happy "Take Your Child to Work Day"!

The One with the Birthday Ring

As a kid I remember playing in the creek with my cousins by our grandparents' house. Through the years all sorts of little trinkets were found and crawdads were caught. Over twenty years ago I found a ruby ring with a missing stone in that creek. Even with the missing stone I wore that ring proudly as a kid and growing up always wanted to add that final ruby. 

A few weeks before my birthday this year my dad asked if he had permission to rummage through some of my stuff because he was working on a birthday surprise. The days that followed left me curious as he left no traces behind after his rummaging. My birthday weekend finally arrived and started with my dad eagerly gifting me the surprise. It came in a little red box and when I got it I immediately thought I had the surprise figured out. "I think it's my ruby ring!" Sure enough, there was my ruby ring with all of its rubies. And my, how it shined! 

That ruby ring was an incredible birthday surprise and is now even more of a treasure. Thanks Mom and Pop!