The One With Being Trapped In The Now

A little while back I picked up a book that a stranger in my favorite bookstore recommended from across the discount cart. The book was a whole dollar and written by an author I had read and enjoyed before, so I bought it and gave it a read. Per usual, I did not finish it, but one excerpt is still lingering with me. The book is Lone Ranger and Tonto Fistfight in Heaven by Sherman Alexie and the excerpt is from the chapter A Drug Called Tradition.

“ Your past is a skeleton walking one step behind you, and your future is a skeleton walking one step in front of you. Maybe you don't wear a watch, but your skeletons do, and they always know what time it is. Now, these skeletons are made of memories, dreams, and voices. And they can trap you in the in-between, between touching and becoming. But they're not necessarily evil, unless you let them be.

What you have to do is keep moving, keep walking, in step with your skeletons. They ain't ever going to leave you, so you don't have to worry about that. Your past ain't going to fall behind, and your future won't get too far ahead. Sometimes, though, your skeletons will talk to you, tell you to sit down and take a rest, breathe a little. Maybe they'll make you promises, tell you all the things you want to hear…

But, no matter what they do, keep walking, keep moving. And don't wear a watch. Hell, Indians never need to wear a watch because your skeletons will always remind you about the time. See, it is always now. That's what Indian time is. The past, the future, all of it is wrapped up in the now. That's how it is. We are trapped in the now. ”

 Being trapped in the now is both promising and terrifying. Terrifying because you never know when your skeletons, be them past or future, will stop in for a chat. You never know when they will scare you with reminders from your past or scare you with the uncertainty of what is to come. Being trapped in the now is also promising because it is chance to chase your fears and make them what you want. “If you don’t learn how to be scared, you’ll never really learn how to be brave.” (Simon Holt)

I’ve learned a lot about being scared, but being trapped in the now is challenging me to be brave. And for today, I’m not wearing a watch.