The One with Milk and Honey

 Last Christmas my cousins and I started a beer exchange. This year we added books. The book I got was Milk and Honey. Although I do not usually read much poetry, this was a nice and quick collection with some definite points to ponder in regards to hurting, loving, breaking, and healing. I will share the following excerpt, in which I see some of my own tendencies…
 

“you treat them like they
have a heart like yours
but not everyone can be as
soft and as tender

you don’t see the
person they are
you see the person
they have the potential to be

you give and give till
they pull everything out of you
and leave you empty.”

-          rupi kaur

 

I look forward to future book exchanges with my cousins. Here's to seeing the potential in people and living with the sweetness that can be found in the now.

The One with Star Wars: Rogue One and Christmas Carols

“Be careful not to choke on your aspirations.”- Darth Vader

This week has been comprised of talking and crying my way through disappointments of unmet expectations and how to stay optimistic with future ones. Even though my body is seeking refuge in the form of my cozy and comfy bed, my heart and mind are telling me to tie a knot and hang on.

Between seeing the newest Star Wars story on the big screen opening night (and again tonight) and singing along with adored Christmas carols in the car on the way home afterward, the days that have made up this long week have been reconciled. 

“For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”- O Holy Night

The One where Addie Beth Turns Seven

     Seven years ago today I remember feeling jealous that my parents were able to be at the hospital for the birth of my cousin’s daughter. At the time, I lived away from home, and was living vicariously to celebrate the new babe. 

     Although I did not have to live vicariously through becoming the new babe’s godmother or through her first birthday party, I did still live away from home. With no intention to ever live back at home I often wondered about having a relationship with my goddaughter and how it would ever evolve. 

     Fortunately, I have lived back at home now for 6 years and every single day I thank God for the blessing that is having an actual relationship with and being close to my goddaughter. She is my favorite little human. She challenges my thinking and my actions. She makes me realize how precious life is and helps me to show love in creative ways. I love the days when we can go on Hilly and Addie adventures to see a movie or to explore Science City. I love playing games and doing puzzles with her. Even though I am terrible at art, I love helping her illustrate a book that she has authored. And I especially love having her stay the night at my house for sleepover parties so that I can spoil her rotten which I will be doing soon. 

     My aunts are special people to me. As a kid they would invite me over and spoil me rotten. Even now, as a big kid, they still invite me over and spoil me rotten. They’ve taught me how to bake, how to travel, how to vote, and how to love. It is to my aunts that I look when I need inspiration on how to be a good role model for my goddaughter. I can only hope that when she is 30 and looks back on her childhood memories with me that she feels half as much acceptance, understanding, and love as I do when I look back on mine.

     Happy 7^th Birthday Addie Beth!

The One with Lady and the Trump

Written yesterday:

Today, the first dawn after the 2016 presidential election, with a new world on the horizon, I feel tremendous pride in working for the organization that I do. “Jewish Vocational Services engages, encourages, and empowers people to achieve social, cultural, and economic integration. JVS was established in 1949 to assist Holocaust survivors, refugees and those returning from WWII, enabling them to build better lives in the United States. Today, our programs meet the needs of all who face barriers to employment. Whether it is coaching a client on how to request a disability accommodation from their employer or helping a newly-arrived refugee enroll their children in school, JVS works to empower people to address challenges to their self-sufficiency. And, above all, JVS makes clients, staff and visitors from all walks of life feel welcome.” (http://www.jvskc.org/our-mission/)

Not long before the lunch hour today I received an email from the Executive Director of JVS in which she extended an invitation for all staff to attend a luncheon during which questions and concerns about the election would be addressed. The idea was to share and to make a plan for continuing the good work of our organization.

At first I did not want to make the drive downtown just to meet for a discussion regarding the election considering the degree to which I usually distance myself from politics. I quickly decided, however, that it might be a good idea to know the thoughts and concerns of those I work for and with. A few hours later I found myself eating a left over burrito in the JVS board room. 

With so many people from countries other than America gathered together there was a certain need to explain the basic processes of our government: Electoral College, popular vote, checks and balances, etc. I liked how George Takei explained the result in the following tweet, “… People elected Hillary, System elected Donald.” 

With some understanding of the how’s and why’s  we were able to express and explore how we will, as an organization and as citizens, continue to support and address those we serve and our community. At this point, we take some solace in the fact that we can reassure our clients that people in our immediate community care as seen through past donations and an onset of new ones. 

I pray that the confusion and fear that many feel right now can soon be replaced with relief and peace through acts of love, inclusion, and acceptance. 

A very grateful thanks to JVS’ Executive Director for creating a safe place to encourage her staff to keep doing good work, to figure things out together, to express real concerns, and to be open about finding a solution. 

The One with Wayfare

“Come ye sinners, poor and needy

Weak and wounded, sick and sore

Jesus ready stands to save you
Full of pity, love, and power"

Eight years and many moons ago, I, along with a handful of other weak and wounded spirits, decided to start a journey together. That journey has come to be known as Wayfare. Warfare is a non-typical community that is intentional about getting back to the basics of "church". That is done through practicing the rhythms of simplicity, authenticity, restoration, sharing, and being organic. Forgive me, Abuelo, as I am sure to have misworded that explanation. 

“Come ye thirsty, come and welcome

God's free bounty glorify

True belief and true repentance
Every grace that brings you nigh"

It is with a thirst and hunger in our hearts that we gather and partake in the Eucharist and welcome others to join us at the table. Yesterday, that gathering was drinking a glass of red wine from a plastic cup while listening to a bluegrass jam session of old hymns in a barn.

“I will arise and go to Jesus

He will embrace me in His arms

In the arms of my dear Savior
Oh, there are then thousand charms"

The nostalgia hits hard when I return to my Wayfare family and I am embraced with open arms. That is the love of God in the flesh.

“Come ye weary, heavy-laden

Lost and ruined by the fall

If you tarry until you're better
You will never come at all"

Take the time to be present and commune with others. Come just as you are. Weary. Heavy-laden. Lost. Ruined. Come just as you are.

“I will arise and go to Jesus

He will embrace me in His arms

In the arms of my dear Savior
Oh, there are ten thousand charms"

"Come Ye Sinners" was the first song that Wayfarers sang together and has become something of an anthem. I sing the words and am reminded of the state my spirit was in eight years ago and rejoice in the freedom that I have now when I commune with those on this journey with me.

Peace be with you. 

The One with Recognizing Happiness

Birthdays are a celebration of life and the celebrations have lately been plentiful. I just finished reading an article about Hospice and life reflections. There was a reminder at the end about what a joy it is when you are able to recognize, in the moment, how much good and happiness is happening in your life. I believe that you become even happier when you recognize happiness. Birthdays are the perfect time to reflect and recognize happiness.

For as long as I can remember I have loved celebrating birthdays and not just my own. Maybe it’s because my parents always did big birthdays or because we extend the celebration to a month versus one day, but I always look forward to birthday celebrations. It is a time to be grateful for being given another year and a time to revel at what is to come. It is time dedicated to feeling special and loved and a time to remember past celebrations. I understand that some people do not like birthdays because it makes them feel old and they do not like to be reminded of just how old they are, however, it should be a joy and accomplishment to say that you’ve reached another year.  

An older gentleman at work is celebrating his birthday today and he is one who treats his birthday like any other day. When prompted to at least have a birthday dinner he says that I will understand when I reach his age. “I hope not,” was my response. I hope that I never get so intimidated by my age that I fail to use my birthday as an extra reason to recognize good and happiness. That said, I do think that my workmate is now entertaining the thought of the All-You-Can-Eat shrimp at Red Lobster for later today.

Cheers to recognizing happiness and celebrating the good!

The One with Fireflies

As a small kid I remember running through the pasture next to my grandparent’s house to catch fireflies, probably in Mason jars. Alone, or with my cousins, this was a preferred activity in the summer. The existence of fireflies, I have recently discovered, is something that I have taken for granted most of my life. 

A few months ago my boyfriend moved from the mountains of Colorado to the hills of Missouri and I have been seeing my home state through his eyes which brings everything I have ever known or thought about life here to a new perspective. 

Seeing the firefly’s light reflect in his excited eyes made me realize for the first time since I was a kid just how magical those bugs are. I realized this even more when friends and family visited from Colorado and they all experienced the magic of the firefly for the first time. There is a certain peace in being able to sit around a fire in my suburban backyard yet feel like I am in the country as the fireflies flit around and glow like embers from the fire. 

I was once invited to a middle school choir concert by a youth I worked with as an Autism Specialist. I remember sitting on the hard bleachers in the tiny school gym and smiling as his group sang the song “Fireflies” by Owl City. In that moment I knew I was experiencing something I would hold on to for a long time to come. The position I held at that time, the people I worked for and with, and the memories I frequently recall were part of the absolute best time in my professional career. That is why when I heard the song “Fireflies” on the radio en route to my first day at a new job recently I felt confident that good things were to come. Although I still have much to learn in my new position, I can feel that my suspicions may be correct; good things are to come. 

It has been the summer of the firefly and that means magic and the confidence of good things to come.